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Five Cringe-Worthy Masturbation Mistakes

by anonymous

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Give a man 15 minutes of guaranteed time alone, and chances are the pants will hit the floor and masturbation will ensue. Most of the time, this behavior results in no aftereffects, aside from a dreamy smile, but some men go to extremes when they're taking part in playtime. In fact, it’s likely that the men who make any of these five masturbation makes will need intense penis care in order to heal up from their fun. It can be hard to reign in the exuberance, but perhaps these examples will make men pause before they get too creative.

1. Adding Fire

A standard bout of masturbation should feel almost intolerably good, but some men who are facing time constraints resort to chemicals that tingle and sting to speed up the proceedings. Ben Gay, Noxzema and Tiger Balm can all cause a thrilling tingle when applied to the skin, but when they're slathered on the penis, the sensation is more akin to extreme pain and burning. The skin down there is just more sensitive, and it's not really designed to interact with the intense chemicals in products like this.

2. Finding a Tight Spot

A tight fist should give a man all the pressure and squeezing he needs, but some men seek out even smaller spots for their plunging pleasure, including:

  • Beer bottles
  • Wedding rings
  • Empty pipe
  • Wood knotholes

Some of these products expand when they're warm, and they make effective traps for delicate tissues that only a surgeon can remove. Some of these products are also quite fragile, and when they're subjected to intense pressure, they can disintegrate into sharp shards that can slice and dice the penis skin into unrecognizable shreds.

3. Upping the Friction Quotient

Walking the line between pleasure and pain is relatively easy to do in a masturbation session, particularly if men use no lubricant at all and make their hands move incredibly fast. The skin of the palm and the skin of the penis seem to glide right by one another, but in reality, the tissues are heating up to a boiling point, and some cells are destined to flake right off and fade into the night. Blistering might quickly follow.

4. Looking for Suction

When no partner is available and mere friction won't do the trick, some men look for replacements in their household appliances. Vacuums are a popular choice, as are the intake jets for hot tubs and Jacuzzi tubs. This equipment can create some powerful suction, however, and they can also be a little unpredictable. A man looking for fun might find that his tools jump into high gear due to his inattentiveness, and he might either need extraction from the fire department or surgery to fix the damage.

5. Facing Down

Men without an aversion to gravity can experience intense masturbation sessions by lying face down and thrusting into either pillows or blankets. This simulated partner play can be much more satisfying, but it can also be quite dangerous, as the act could put intense pressure on the penis. Once wrong move and the erect member could be placed at a right angle to the body, which is rapidly moving down. One quick thrust could snap delicate tissues, leaving a man headed directly for the surgeon's table.

Better Solutions

Men are sometimes tempted to get creative because they simply can't feel all of the pleasure sensations that once came about so easily. Instead of reaching pleasure with simple touches, only harsh methods will do the trick.

penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) may help. These products contain nourishing vitamins that can support the nerves that line the penis, allowing a man to feel every touch and tickle that's pointed his way. The softening emollients can also reduce the prevalence of calluses and dry skin that can blunt gentle touches. With regular application, a man can leave all of the danger behind and feel intense pleasure at any time. 

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