Dating sites and apps are becoming an increasingly important space for gay and bi men to meet and communicate. You can meet some awesome guys on these sites and apps, so it is important to be honest about who you are and what you’re looking for in order to avoid embarrassing conversations further down the track. And if you’re already in a relationship with someone you should take steps to ensure your dating profile doesn’t get in the way of that.
To begin with, if you are looking to find a partner or are already in a relationship, make sure your profile states it. Make sure your profile is clear and not confusing. For instance if you are a gay in NZ and already in a relationship, but “looking for friends and chat” but post provocative pictures of yourself, it may lead to unwanted attention. If you have an open relationship, but don’t state it in your profile then perhaps someone you hook up with might think you’re boyfriend material. It’s better to be upfront and let them know before you hook that you’re just looking for sex. The more straightforward you are about the kind of relationship you want, the better.
Never air your dirty laundry in public. No matter what or how intense your issues with your partner or friends may be, do not write about them on dating site or gay website and apps. Doing so will not only demean your relationship, but will also make you look immature and could lead to further unwanted complications. If you have an issue with someone, address that person directly instead of making it public.
Remember that when you send someone a private message or a pic, you might have very well just published it online. Content from private messages can be copied and published anywhere. If your privacy is important, it’s better to be cautious and ensure that any provocative pictures such as bareback sex, don’t have your face in them. The same goes for messages: don’t go hating on someone or discussing anything you wouldn’t want someone else to read in a message.
Connectivity among gay and bi guys is high, especially on gay website and other dating or social networking sites such as Facebook, Grindr, Manhunt and NZDating. Accessibility of information leads to monitoring, and if conversations are read out of their true context it could lead to a lot of misunderstandings.
About the Author:
Joe Rich is the Spokesperson of Get it On! Through Get it On! He is trying to encourage all gay and bisexual men to use condoms and lube every time they have sex. Get it On! is a community-focused, Social Marketing programme that aims to build a condom culture across New Zealand.
Don’t Let Online Dating Ruin Your Relationships