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Date Black Men: 25 Top First Date Tips For Women

by evamarisha

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Before the date

1. From the start till the end of the date, be yourself! You won't be able to pretend you are someone you are not for a long time anyway.

2. Try to be ready on time. Sure, men are used to women taking ages to get ready for a date - black men included - but being on time on the first date shows that you are considerate of the other person.

3. Do look your best. This shows that you care enough for the other person to put in the effort and look good for them. Try to keep your makeup natural though. You want to look like your best self, not like someone else.

4. Do wear nice underwear that makes you feel confident, but nothing over the top. In case the night ends with the two of you in bed you don't want to look like an experienced porn star (unless you are one, which is also fine).

5. When you date black men, allow your date to select where you are going, but be prepared with a proposal or two, in case they are unprepared or they want you to decide together where to go.

6. Give some hints about the places you like. This way you can avoid ending up in an environment where you feel uncomfortable.

7. If your date asks you where you would like to go, give suggestions that are neither too specific nor too vague. “Let's go to a quiet restaurant, where we can talk” is a good suggestion. “Let's go to this super fancy new lobster place that just opened last week” is a bad suggestion because a) your date will be terrified they cannot afford it, b) you do not leave them any space to express their own preferences, c) if it just opened, it will be super-crowded. You get the idea.

8. Compliment your date on their outfit. They put an effort to pick clothes that make them look good and they are probably somewhat nervous and insecure about the date. Black men are no more confident than white men, when it comes to going out with a new girl. Acknowledging their effort will help them feel comfortable and relaxed.



During the Date

9. During the date it is a good idea to avoid drinking too much, at least for the first couple of hours, when you get to know the other person. You may start talking about things you shouldn't or acting stupidly.

10. Do not talk about your exes. Not on the first date, not ever, if possible. That is common sense not only when you date black men, but for every other date as well.

11. Do talk about your kids though, if you have any. If you have met your partner online, they probably already know you have them and they still choose to go out with you. It is a good plan to explain a bit more the relationship with your kids and how you see a new person in your life relating to them. Well, maybe not in the first hour of the discussion, but later once you get to know them more.

12. Talking about religion and politics should be avoided on a first date, unless you are very open and non-judgmental. Sure, if you date black men, you should expect that there are going to be some cultural difference. But getting to know the individual first is more important than arguing about cultural differences.

13. Listen! It is something many women forget to do. Yes, your date was impressed by your profile and wants to know everything about you, but don't you want to get to know them too? Most men are not as talkative as women and they need some extra time to open up. Give them that time.

14. Do not ask questions about your date's finances. You can ask them what their profession is, but how much they earn, what sort of car they drive, how big their house is are all impolite questions. If you get along, you can find more about this sector in follow-up dates.

15. When you date black men, do not complain all the time. Everyone has problems and your date might have more serious problems than you do. But this is not psychotherapy. This is a first date and you are here to get to know each other and have a good time.

16. If you are at a restaurant, let your date order first and order dishes of a similar price range. This way you avoid over-ordering.

17. Eat normal food. There is no need to diet on this specific night. It has been written in women magazines many times and for good reason: a woman who enjoys her food, enjoys life. So go on and order what you crave.

18. If your date is being a bit pushy, show them in a polite way. Some men, when they get excited, tend to rush things. You will see that in this section there is not difference when you date black men or white men. If you do not like your date holding your hand or touching your face, then you can just gently take their hand and put it back on the table and explain that you are not feeling comfortable yet. They should understand.

19. And as you expect men to respect your space, you should do the same. No matter how hot your date is, unless they give you permission, you are not allowed to start touching/grabbing their body parts. So don't get too drunk!

20. Dancing is a nice way to explore if you match with your date through body language. Touching during a dinner might be inappropriate but on the dance floor things are different. If you and a good time at the dinner, suggesting going for a dance is a good plan. When you date black men, you might assume that they are all good dancers. Keep in mind that this is a misconception and generalization.

21. If you go dancing, do not start dancing with any hot guy at the club. Respect your date and dedicate the night to them.

At the end of the date

22. If your date accompanies you at home, do not feel obliged to ask them to come up for a drink, unless you are really sure you want them in your space. Otherwise, a sweet “goodnight” is enough for the first date.

23. Do not assume that there is going to be a passionate goodnight kiss. Even if you are really attracted to your date, you need to make sure that they feel the same way before you try to lock lips with them. Another misconception women who want to date black men have, is that they are sexual predators and will take the lead. Again, this is a generalization.

24. If you had a good time and want to see your date again, do let them know. And if you promise that you will call them back, do call them.

25. Even if this was not the best date of your life, you still need to remember to thank your date. Just don't make any promises. Something casual like “I think we could be great friends, lets meet again some time” will give them the hint. And do not let this be your last interracial date. Black men are all different from each other, you know! Give it one more chance.

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