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Itchy Penis Woes - Where NOT to Masturbate

by anonymous

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Let's face it: Having an itchy penis is a good excuse to indulge in a little autoerotic activity. Now, when that crotch needs scratching in the privacy of one's own home, there's no problem. But when the masturbation location is elsewhere, a guy may need to exercise a little restraint. Engaging in proper penis care doesn't mean making a public nuisance of oneself, so here are a few places to avoid when heeding the call.

The workplace

Okay, it's true that a lot of guys have hauled their penises out at their desks and pleasured themselves. Possibly most guys have. Certainly the number has gone up in the Internet age when there's so much easy availability of porn for viewing. Nevertheless, "NSFW" (Not Safe For Work") warnings exist for a reason.

Should a guy really risk his boss catching him squeezing one off just for a few minutes of relief? Granted, the loss of employment that is likely to result would mean that a man could devote more time to his itchy penis, but what's he going to do when the lack of income keeps him from buying lubricant and tissues?

Perhaps one day, society will admit that men simply like to masturbate and make it acceptable to do so during work hours; until then, however, if a guy needs to pull one off between 9:00 and 5:00, it's best to head for the men's room.

On the road

Sorry, guys, but the only stick shift a man should be handling while driving is the one that controls the automobile, not the one that controls the autoeroticism. Sex with oneself while driving is undeniably enjoyable but also undeniably dangerous.

What about automobile masturbation when not mobile - in other words, when the car is parked? That's a much better idea where safety is concerned, but there's still the chance that one will be observed by an old lady walking her dog or a youngster on her way home from school. Unless a guy is parked in a truly secluded spot or owns a car with heavily tinted windows, even parked playfulness can be risky.

On public transportation

Travel can be a truly exciting experience, but just because a man achieves an enviable erection on a bus or subway doesn't mean that others want to admire its size or the guy's prowess with exercising it. Unfortunately, that kind of scenario is restricted to the fantasy world, so a male needs to keep it zipped till he finishes his trip.

In a restaurant

No matter how many oysters a guy may consume, there simply is no excuse for bringing along an uninvited extra guest to the table. Unleashing an erect penis, even if it is seemingly obscured by a napkin or low-hanging tablecloth, is just asking for trouble - and it's unsanitary, to boot. There are other diners in this establishment, remember. As with the office, a man should try the privacy of the men's room if his date is so enticing that his penis cannot wait for any after-dinner perks.

The list of places in which restraint is called for goes on and on: stairwells, public parks, department store dressing rooms, the beach, etc. A man can't help getting excited, but he has to control his actions. Besides, delaying the gratification until he is safely in a private masturbation location can lead to a much more intense orgasm when it finally does arrive.

Caring for an itchy penis

Taking care of an itchy penis through sensual self-handling should only be done in the proper place. For the rest of the time, men can help to keep the itch under control by keeping the skin smooth and moisturized and eliminating rough spots. Using a penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) might be just the ticket to keeping active members feeling good, especially a cream with vitamin E, which locks in moisture for proper hydration. Paired with a natural emollient like Shea butter, vitamin E can help to keep the itch at bay and the package feeling comfortable.

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