If you have gay sex, chances are
eventually you'll hook up with a guy who will try and convince you to bareback.
And it can be a little tempting. It certainly excites some people - it can feel
a bit dirty and risky, it can uncover issues of trust and love (“If you really
trust me...”) or maybe you're both just pretty wasted and he is pushing for it.
Don't do it.
While you most likely aren't going
to get HIV every time you fuck without a condom, if you get into the habit of
fucking without rubber, your chances of contracting HIV go through the roof.
Not many HIV positive guys can
look back and say "That is the time I got infected, that night with that
guy at that place." It's a bit like trying to figure out which cigarette
gave you cancer. And like cigarettes and cancer, it's not so much which one
caused it; it's the habit of smoking, or in this case, the habit of fucking
Guys might use all sorts of
arguments to try and get you to do it. But is it really worth it? If you're the
bottom, we’d put money on it that you really can't tell the difference. If
you're the top, it might slow you down a bit, but isn't that better than
getting or giving HIV?
How do you know someone is
negative? Even if he shows you a test result that he tested HIV negative, there
is no guarantee he still is. And if he's so keen on having bareback
sex with you, think of everyone else he has tried to do it with (and maybe
succeeded with). If he's that keen on fucking all over town without condoms,
then the chances that he has HIV or another STI increase rapidly.
Life without HIV is much better
than life with it. Even with all the advances in medical treatment and
technology, it is still not pleasant to live with HIV and you really don't want
it. The best way to stay HIV negative is to make condoms an automatic part of
your sex-life. Always by the bed or in your bag, keep them somewhere
convenient, and use them.
If a guy really pushes you and wants
bareback, be prepared to stand your ground and walk away if you need to. If he
values you as more than a sex object, he'll want what's best for you and listen
to you. No matter how hot he is, your health is worth a lot more.There are many
more guys who you can have incredible sex with and stay safe.
Click here for the
top 10 lines we hear from guys wanting unsafe sex, and some brilliant
About the Author:
Joe Rich is the
Spokesperson of Get it On! Through Get it On! He is trying to encourage all gay and bisexual men to use condoms and lube every time they
have sex. Get it On! is a community-focused, Social
Marketing programme that aims to build a condom culture across New Zealand.
At www.getiton.co.nz, gay and bisexual men can
order free condoms and lube to be delivered to their home in a discreet,
New Zealand AIDS
+64 9 300 6967
How do I respond if someone asks me to bareback?