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The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

by DeniseBarryauthor

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The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

©Denise Barry, 2013

Have you ever felt really good about yourself—you’re just kind of coasting along in your own happiness, then WHAM!

Someone comes along and reminds you that you’re not “perfect”?

They make a comment that contradicts how you feel about yourself and then you start second guessing who you are all over the place.

Is it true? Should I be nicer or more attractive or smarter, etc?If he/she doesn’t like this about me, then I shouldn’t like this about me. If he/she doesn’t like me then I shouldn’t like me. I don’t like me. I wish I were different.

Allow me to reveal some synonyms of the word perfect: faultless, beyond compare, defectless, pure, supreme, boring.

Yes, boring! And exhausting!

How much work must it take to be “perfect”? And if you ever got there, how hard would it be to maintain?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to feel like I have to work that hard for something so fragile and fleeting. All it would take is one tiny, inexact move and “perfect” would spiral wildly out of it’s pristine state of being.

Into what? Well, we like to call that state imperfect, don’t we?

Let me expose what the word imperfect is synonymous with; broken, damaged, defective, deficient, flawed, garbage, incomplete, junk, limited….


Does this make anyone else as angry as it does me?

I am not perfect but I am certainly not damaged. I am not pristine but in no way am I defective. I am not pure but I refuse to think for a second that I am garbage or junk.

Who comes up with this stuff anyway?

The thing is, words can’t possibly describe who we are. When we use words to describe who we are, we are limiting ourselves (or allowing others to limit us).

We are “perfect” and we are “not so perfect”. And we are everything in between.

But the truth is, we really just feel. We experience feelings of generosity sometimes. We experience feelings of overwhelm sometimes. Also happiness, sadness, compassion, anger, etc.

Feelings are much more complex than mere words. But even they don’t define who we are, but the states of Being we are in at any given moment.

We can BE happiness. We can BE annoying. We can BE fear. We can BE love.

Since our states of being change from one moment to the next, we are not our feelings either.

What we are is not a word or a feeling.

What are we then?

I don’t really know. But we are Be-ing.

We are Beings.

Allow me to introduce you to some synonyms for what a Being is: presence, essential nature, entity, essence, self, soul, spirit, substance…

Being is defined as “the fact of existing.” We exist.

I can’t find any limitations there, can you?

Let’s not define ourselves, or let anyone else define us either.

But if we have to, then “perfect” is a pretty good definition, as long as we understand that “perfect” means we are made as a whole entity.

We are everything and all of it. We are the good, the bad and the ugly….and it’s all as it should be. For more info visit

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