I Am Not What I Fear
"If life is arduous, perhaps it is because you fear it."
People accuse us of being a bit too peaches and cream because we say there is no evil. I know there is no evil. You fear there is. That is your dark side; it is your fear that you are rotten. You know why so many religions have this bit about original sin?Because you all fear that when you came into this lifetime you were already rotten. You know you all made a lot of errors in the past and so you really are already rotten.Guaranteed. I guarantee it. You were born with original sin this time. You've had twelve thousand lifetimes to screw it up. You've got a list longer than all of your arms combined of terrible sins that you have committed already. Doomed. Unless of course none of it was ever wrong.
The whole business of this dark side, it is the fear of all you have ever done and judged yourself and others to have done that perpetuates what you call evil in your world. Someone does something to someone else because they are afraid they're gonna be done to first or that they're really only worthy to do that.
You see if you confront all your fears and it takes a little bit of doing but you don't have anything better to do, you could then not worry about manifesting your fears because you weren't afraid of them anymore. You weren't afraid of yourself anymore.Perhaps then you could own who you are. You wouldn't be afraid of that base slimy of slimies, being afraid of being powerful all knowing God. Then one might move on to manifesting everything they desire. That's the other half or quarter or eighth or tenth or hundredth depending upon how long it takes you of the time in the transition.
The gimmick of the month: I am not what I fear. That has many levels. I am not my fears. And I am not what I am afraid I am. And I am not what I am afraid I might not be. I am not what I fear. Try that one on for a month. Combine that one with mastery in this lifetime and freedom from doubt, boy, in a month you might be an enlightened being.
Now there are those who say that this is really not the kind of affirmation that you should use. There's a not in it. And you're not supposed to do that sort of thing. I don't know about rules. I merely know what works. And if a not is what you need perhaps you can work the not out.
Fear is the most compelling thing on your plane. You live in it, steeped in it. You're like a grand tea bag. You have been brewing in fear for eight million years. You are in density because of fear and because of judgment. And I would be most joyful if I could say to you the gimmick of the month is freedom from fear. But it's not time yet for freedom from fear, for fear has much it can teach you. Embrace your fears and what they have to give you. Do not run from them and do not say I wish to be free of them and run away and put them in a dark closet and lock the door. The idea in this time is to open the Pandora's box and to open it wide and stick you head in it and when you are finished to not need to close the trunk. The box can stay open for there are no slimy creatures who shall come out and get you in the night. There is nothing left to be fearful of. And then it will not be freedom from fear. It will be peace.
So remember as you stick your head in the box, and rummage around in the muck and mire of your soul, for that is where all of this is recorded, remember as you look at each one and it rears its monstrous head at you, I am not my fear. I am not what I fear. Say to the fear, I am not what I fear, I am God. That is what you say when you say, I am. That is what you say when you look at the great blue dish of your sky and say it is wonderful to be alive. I am happy to be alive. It is not a gift to be alive. It is a celebration to be alive. No one gave it to you but you. And if life is arduous perhaps it is because you fear it. Come to the place where life is celebration. Each step is a joy and you do not worry that you might step on something that might hurt. And you do not worry that someone might come and step on your toe. And you do not worry that you might make a wrong step and go the wrong way, for there is no wrong. It is just one step after another. Life is but placing one foot in front of the other through forever.No worry about tomorrow. No regret of yesterday. Merely one step in front of another through forever, not even eternity, forever. And we say forever is on the other side of the box full of fears. As long as the box is locked tight you can't find forever, for your fear of the box and walking beyond the box will keep you in time. Open the box look at the fears, walk into forever. That is only possible if you leave the box open. And it is only possible to leave the box open if you look in it. Because if you won't look, you will be sure you need to keep it shut.
Remember each day of the time that you proceed through, I am not what I fear. I am not the evil person I am afraid I am. I am not the one who killed my mother. I am not the one who wished I killed my mother. I am God, pretending to be limited. I am not what I fear. I am God. Hold it in your heart for a month and remind yourself of that.And perhaps next month you'll have a different view of reality. You will not manifest a world gone crazy. Hold in your mind a celebration of life and stepping forward for that is what you come to in your time. A celebration of life. Not a time to be feared, a time to celebrate. A check point in the development of paradise, the acknowledgment that indeed this is heaven on earth.
Excerpted from A Journey to The Center: A guidebook to enlightenment by Aranya
I Am Not What I Fear by Aranya