Things are not going well now, aren't they? You try very hard to keep everything together, but they just keep falling into pieces. You want to fight for what you tried to build for five, ten, twenty years--for what you have. However, your efforts seem to just slide off the gutters of the busy streets in Maryland. Your partner may be making the same effort to make your marriage work. Your partner might turn out to be a useless, good-for-nothing douche worthy to be divorced. Whatever the cause, whatever character your partner has, everything still boils to one realization--it is not working anymore.
When your marriage has spiraled down to awkward silences and disgusted reactions to each other's touches, is it still healthy to stay in your relationship? If your relationship has come to violent screaming in the dining table, can you even call this a relationship? Perhaps. But as implied above, your kind of relationship is already a poison to the spirit. You will turn out broken and bitter if you choose to stay. Fine. Let us say you are a masochist, some kind of a martyr. Let us say you enjoy misery. But do you think that kind of attitude and mentality can actually make you happy?
Okay, let us have a clearer light on this and assume that you are neither a masochist nor a martyr. Let us assume that you really (will all your being) want to get out of this toxic relationship you once called marriage. If you are really serious, then you will need the expert guidance of a divorce lawyer. You will get one eventually when your situation has reached it maximum. It will be a better move if you get a lawyer right now so that you will have legal guidance in every step of your decision-making.
You have to carefully think about your situation. Will it be beneficial for you to inform your spouse that you want a divorce? Will it jeopardize you if you say anything before finalizing the divorce papers that your lawyer is currently drafting for you? You have to project the consequences of every decision you make in this particular hurdle in your life. Thinking things through before doing or saying them will not only help you in this particular situation, but it can also help you with future dilemmas. This is a trait worth learning and keeping, especially now that you have decided to be single again.
If, however, you have someone waiting for you (if I may be so bold), You can still apply this trait to the next relationship you want to start with this new significant other. Things are usually smooth when the other party (the spouse) agrees to have a divorce and agrees to the terms you have specified in the divorce papers that your lawyer just drafted. The difficult thing is when the other party is determined to make this process an unbearable hell for you. If that is your case, then you will have to prepare your armory--because you and your divorce attorney are going to war.
Divorce Gives You the Chance to Say It Is Enough