Whether you are a mother or a father, many of us have embraced the opportunities that exist between managing a family and having a full time career. Some of us do this so we can support our family, some for the pleasure related to employment, and for others it is to lock up early retirement or strong economical stability. Whatsoever your reasons for functioning might be, it is vital to understand how your daily work routine not only influences you but also your family.
As a father I recognize when I get home my son is often excited to see me. He wants to tell me about his day, plans he may have, and may even want to play for a while. While on few days this is fine, but on others I just want to rest. While handling this situation I had only unknowingly created parenting problems by embracing two methods of parenting, one method where my son loses and I win, and another method where my son wins and I lose.
Many parents like myself have a tendency to play the responsibility of the parent based on day to day situations rather than being aware about the parenting method I’m using and the long term consequences of that system. On some days after work I am simply exhausted due to heavy traffic, a long work day, or a lack of proper relaxation and nourishment. When I walk in the door I am looking forward to relaxing for a while when I am suddenly bombarded by attention from my son. While I usually cheer interaction, on these days I simply want to be left alone to relax and this develops parenting issues.
My son who wants to communicate is now being shut down by myself who is looking for rest. I make reasons to avoid interaction, encourage him to look for substitute entertainment and eventually turn towards punishments. While I may be able to relax now, my son is genuinely upset making a situation where he loses and I win.
The other method I have used which has created parenting issues will be seen with the scenario where my child wins and I lose. In this situation I am still sick from a long day of work but identify how excited my son may be to communicate with me. Here I make the decision to skip the opportunity for relaxation I was so looking forward to and instead take the time to interact with my son playing games, listening to stories or working on homework.
Although I was happy with either one of the ways, I never realized that one of us was always on the receiving end. I never thought about the information that these techniques will teach my son that one person is more vital than the other one. Identifying the parenting issues I may be creating, I made the decision to take advantage of a precious resource providing parenting guidance. From this source I found a 3rd technique which will lead to a situation where we BOTH win all the time. To be frank, this had never crossed my mind!! A solution that might seem easy now was something I never had considered before.
Identify Parenting Issues You Have To Be Aware Of