All's fair in love and war; but do couples argue fair and square all the time? There's nothing truly wrong with couples in an argument; professionals say it's next to impossible for couples to claim that they never fought throughout their wedded lives. Ottawa marriage counselling could tell you that there's a level playing field between you and your partner.
Writing for PsychologyToday.com, Steven Stosny has a clear idea as to why couples argue-- and such arguments usually take a turn for the worse. He thinks that it's not about love, cash, sex, children, family members, chores, and other stuff-- but rather disconnection. There's this existing worry that either the husband or spouse does not care exactly how he feels about the relationship. It does not take place as you consider it; it's natural as some kind of survival mechanism.
Phil McGraw, the host of Dr. Phil, says disagreements are bound to take place at one moment. But the major concern is whether you could fight fair, play fair, and settle the conflicts as reasonable as you possibly can. There is no actual winner or loser in such fights, given that you have to settle some problems but not to win over your partner.
Stosny also highlights how the husband responds in these kinds of confontations: either with protection or aggression. The default reaction is that he will respond with things like "I'm always right alongside you" or "I shouldn't have been negligent." But when he can not respond in such a method, he generally resorts to criticism and hostility (sometimes, ending the argument without saying a word).
Dr. Phil says hostility is the one of the couple of things men must attempt to avoid at all times when in a dispute with a woman. Stosny says the woman will certainly respond the same way when she feels a sense of harm or isolation coming her way. Long story short: name-calling and hostility are not always the response to spousal issues. Ottawa psychologists usually deal with such cases and look for ways to settle marital concerns over a cup of coffee.
Dr. Phil also has a couple of pointers on how to fight fair and square without escalating the simple couples' issue. You could check out them at his website at DrPhil.com. For more details about explanations for marriage arguments, go to Stosny's column at PsychologyToday.com.
A Simple Guide to a Happy Marriage: Ottawa Marriage Counsell