If, in the last year, you’ve been anywhere near a magazine stand, a television set or a beauty salon in the county of Essex, you will for sure have seen someone from the hit show The Only Way Is Essex. Like the Black Plague, it spread quickly and infected everybody in its path. People were left loving or loathing it; much like the popular toast spread, Marmite. The majority of people who loved it were probably too overloaded with watching Newsnight, Panorama or the constant barrage of bad news thanks to the ever-growing recession began to take its toll. Often, when things appear like they are never going to get any better, we need to submerge ourselves in something that does not only warrant minimal effort on our part, but will ensure everybody has a fun time, at the end of the day. Taking place in the town of Brentwood in Essex, the show documented the movements of a particular group of friends.
Whether it be the famous Nanny Pat, who emerged as an icon from the show thanks to her sausage plaits and unintentional comedy movements, though in this scripted reality show, who knows what is spontaneous, or the ridiculous storylines to come out. Much like a soap opera, they have covered almost everything one could think of apart from the really grizzly things like murder and theft. There have been rumours of some being Brentwood escorts, seemingly arsonistic tendencies and definitely problems with alcohol, or to them, a Saturday night. This, to us, is not good TV viewing. And given the saturation of the ‘stars’ into the media, I weep for the future. Gone are the days when little girls wanted to be presidents or doctors, instead now choosing to become WAGS. We certainly wouldn’t encourage a man and his Brentwood escort to sit indoors and watch it, as it carries with it a high risk of dumbing down its viewers.
Like any other town in Essex, there is an abundance of fake tan, fake eyelashes, fake hair, fake nails, and, do we dare, fake personalities. But this is the common stereotype that we believe many of the inhabitants often play up to. Especially if the recent episode of The Apprentice, in which they sold hundreds of bottles of fake tan in Essex, is anything to go by. We’re not saying they are shallow in ANY way, but if they suddenly ran out of glue we’re confident the nightlife would be non-existent. But a show about escorts from Brentwood? We would most certainly watch that.
Bottles of Fake Tan in Brentwood